And how to fix it, now!
“My husband won’t let me decorate our home,” a friend said to me over coffee.
Time and time again I’ve heard this from my friends; it’s anything but uncommon for couples to have different ideas about decorating.
Read more: arguing about decorating (and how to stop)
My partner and I had the same issue; we’re both colour-lovers, but he didn’t want to do anything too drastic.
Lots of buyers, especially first time buyers, are concerned about selling their house on – will someone else want to live here when we’re done with it? Which is exactly what was on my husband’s mind.
So what did we do about it? Well, we compromised. Any permanent feature was a ‘normal’ colour – we installed a white kitchen and a white bathroom suite, but anything that was easy to change (i.e. re-paint) was fair game.
As we started to decorate, and my vision came to life, he gained more trust in my interior decisions; then I was able add a few extra touches of personality – like a pink tap and green grouting.
Steps to take when your husband won’t let you decorate your home
- Compromise is really important, you need to meet in the middle, somewhere you can both be happy.
- I’ve mentioned this before, but making a mood board together can be useful; you can pick up on any schemes you both like.
- To make things easier, why not make the planning stage something you’re both involved in. Make it exciting, have a meeting over a hot drink in a cafe, somewhere that’s a neutral ground.
- Mapping it all out will help you both see how it’s going to look when it’s finished, therefore, there won’t be any nasty surprises. This will build trust between you both when it comes to decorating and have a knock on effect next time.
- You want to make sure you both feel heard when it comes to decorating ideas, give each other a chance to put forward your own opinions. Listening is key.
- Take it step-by-step, start with one room and see how that goes, see how you both feel about it, or start with things you can easily change, like paint colours.
Read more: anxiety about buying a house with a partner
Who should decorate the house, husband or wife?
You might be wondering who should decorate your house; well, there are no set rules. Decorating is a skill most people can pick up, it’s all about having the confidence (and the time) to go for it.
Personally, I enjoy decorating much more than my husband and I enjoy experimenting so in our house it’s usually me. However, if it’s something to do with general house maintenance then we both chip in together.
However, if neither of you are up to the task or it’s causing world war three, then you can hire a professional to help you.
My husband won’t let me make any decisions:
According to Tony Robbins, there are three key principles to decision making with your partner: communication, trustworthiness and respect.
Making lots of decisions separately in your relationship can cause it to suffer, so working on something like decorating could be beneficial to your marriage in the long run.
Why is it important to decorate your home?
Being in spaces we love has a huge impact on our mental wellbeing, your home should work for you and bring you joy.
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